We All Need Support Sometimes, and That Can Be Terrifying
One of the key beliefs within the Upledger CranioSacral paradigm is that we are self-healing. That being said, if we had the resources and support we needed to heal, we would have already done so. Sometimes we need something more to heal. This doesn’t make us broken, inept, or somehow incomplete. It doesn’t make anyone who has healed better than us, either.
Everyone has times when they need more support than they can give. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t be a social species. Being human entails living in community. Our brains have evolved to rely on one another. This can be particularly difficult for those who have experienced trauma and/or insecure attachment patterns, where those who we relied on to provide attention and attunement weren’t able to do so.
When this happens, we try very hard to do the impossible and pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, or we may claim to be self-made and self-reliant while ignoring the contributions others have made to our success.
For others, the opposite may be true: seeking help is easy, but believing that we are self-healing feels beyond our grasp. Constant disappointment in others and a feeling of inevitable suffering can ensue.
As a CranioSacral practitioner, it is my role to provide resources that facilitate the healing of patients who visit my treatment table. These include dedicated time and space for healing, my attunement to their bodies and minds, and the tools I have acquired through my education and experience. The key ingredient here is attunement - to be in witness to another and adjust my offerings accordingly. What I offer to a self-described loner will look very different from what I offer to someone who is seeking to be fixed by someone else.
When we are attuned to the help offered, it feels like support because that is exactly what it is. There are no egos to inflate, no “I told you so”, and no one-size-fits-all recommendations or procedures. There is much less risk of overwhelming someone who is already overwhelmed, no demand for performative healing, and no blame placed on the patient for “failing a treatment” or “noncompliance”. With this attunement, the support offered is tailored specifically to us. It’s not too much nor too little.
In the first CranioSacral therapy class, we are taught to provide the minimum necessary influence to stimulate the self-healing process, and that this varies for each person and with each treatment. I’ve found this lesson invaluable and have been able to apply it throughout my entire practice. I have also greatly benefited from shifting into trusting my patients and my own “inner wisdom/physician” rather than an impersonal “healing power of nature.”
These two minor shifts have made all the difference in my personal philosophy of medicine. Now I trust my patients and work to help them trust themselves. When I endeavor to do no harm, I now understand that this includes adjusting my treatment plans to meet my patients where they are, avoiding overwhelming them while ensuring they feel adequately supported. With all the medical trauma many of us have experienced, being able to seek and receive care that begins with attunement is a rare and precious gift.
So, remember, not only is it okay to need support, but we were designed for it. If it is hard to receive support, it’s not your fault. And, when you are able to find someone who really sees you and listens to you, you can begin to accept help that empowers you to do your own healing. Then, with this new level of healing, you can attune to and help others even more effectively. What else are we on this earth to do anyway?
To our health,
Dr. Currey
